One of the things I hear from people the most is about differences in sex drives. Here is a sampling of questions I received just this month:

She is depressed, naturally and does not want to have sex. She admitted she is pulling away from people... but swears she loves me still as always...

I'm 23 and my partner is 21. The problem is, we've been back together since June last year and have had sex once which was quick and me doing her...

An underlying feeling of rejection has developed in me over time from her with regard to our sex life. It is very hard for me to initiate any affection romance or sex with her without being brushed off. I kept raising the issue with her time and again and was told that there was nothing wrong with it, in fact it was all about me and my low self esteem in this regard. It started to mess with my head a lot and I started to feel powerless and weak....so my advances started to feel half hearted and tension filled. Recently when I could not take the rejection anymore I confronted her strongly and she agreed that indeed she has issues when it comes to sex with me..

That's just a sampling. Every day, it seems I receive more and more letters from people who are having issue of differing sexual desire than their partners. Obviously this is not an easy issue to solve. If it were, the problem would not be so prevalent. But I did some research and have come up with some tools and suggestions for lesbian couples with different sex drives.

If you have solved this issue in your relationship, please share ideas in the comments section below.
_{© Photo by Ann- Kathrin Rehse}

California will become the second state in the United States to allow gays and lesbians to marry. In a 4-3 decision announced today, the California Supreme Court has ruled that marriage is a constitutional right that same-sex couples cannot be denied. Marriages can begin in 30 days. Gays and lesbians celebrated outside San Francisco City Hall, where in 2004, gay marriage was deemed legal by the mayor for several weeks before the courts overturned his decision. More than 4,000 couples, including my partner and I were married back in February 2004. Those marriages have since been annulled.

Celebrations are scheduled tonight all over the state of California. The court's decision could be overturned in November, when Californians are likely to vote on a state constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriages. Anti-gay groups are collecting signatures to put a measure on the November ballot to ban same-sex marriage. If such a measure does pass, it is not known how that will affect those who are married between now and then. Learn more about the California's gay marriage victory here.
_{© Photo by Kathy Belge}

After you and your partner decide to get married, next comes the joy of planning the ceremony. Depending on the kind of wedding you choose to have, you could be dealing with rental halls, caterers, florists, bakeries, photographers, DJ’s or musicians and dress shops. At every one of these businesses, you may be forced to come out and potentially deal with a less than welcoming environment. Finding good vendors can be stressful enough without having to worry about homophobia. How should you proceed?
_{© Photo by Kathy Belge}

Dear Lesbian Life

My life is so messed up at the moment, I am seeing this woman who has a boyfriend. I love her and I try everything to show her that but I guess the more I try the more she pulls away from me. I didn’t make the first move in the relationship, she did! Now she wants to back out and she does not even care about my feelings and the impact it has on me. I know I should just let go but I can’t. I have tried and tried to let go but I always find myself giving her chances because she always comes back to me again and every time it hurts me. How do I let go of her for good?

Crush on Another Straight Girl

In addition to that, I have a big crush on another girl from work. I don't know if she likes me the same way or not, but at times I do find her staring at me and she always defends me from other staff. Does she like me or not? I know I like her, and I know that she probably has a boyfriend as well so there is no way I can stand a chance with her. What do I do?? I’m just totally lost at the moment. Please tell me what to do right now because my love life is getting in the way of my studies and everything. Please help...

Dear Stuck on Straight Girls,

Your first problem is falling in love with straight girls. This can only lead to heart ache. You need to broaden your horizons, get out there and start meeting real lesbians. Even if it takes you a while to meet someone you're interested in dating, it will be good to make friends who are lesbians. They can introduce you to their friends and most importantly, it will take your mind off these straight girls that seem to be ruining your life.

So, how do you go about it?

• Best Places to Meet Lesbians
• How to Pick Up Women
• Flirting Tips for Lesbians

Happy Mother's Day! I attended a baby shower yesterday for a lesbian mom. Family and friends all gathered to eat brunch and celebrate the new baby girl that will soon join us. Although this friend happens to be in a relationship, I did meet one lesbian mom there who was single. Her child is young and she said she doesn't have the time or energy to date. That might be her choice, but it doesn't have to be that way. If you're a single lesbian mom, no matter what age your children, if you want to get out there and start dating, there's no reason you shouldn't. But where to meet suitable people? What do you tell the kids? How do you handle overnight visits? Here are my Dating Tips for Lesbian Moms.

Also today, I thought I'd share with you some of my favorite blogs by lesbian moms. Happy Mother's Day and enjoy.

Best blogs for lesbian moms:

• Mombian
• The Other Mother

_{© Kathy Belge}

I love kissing. When my partner and I first got together, we decided we would wait to have sex. Those early long make out sessions are still some of my favorite memories. Sometimes I think kissing is a lost art. Making out is fun and it doesn't have to lead to anything more. Kissing can and should be a goal in itself.

I asked my friend, sex educator Tracy Bartlett to share some of her professional knowledge of kissing with us. Tracy gives workshops all over the country on sex topics, and her kissing workshop is one of the most popular. How good of a kisser are you? Want to become better? Learn to kiss like a pro.
_{© Photo by Edward Tes}

I was having drinks with a new friend the other day when she revealed to me that she is polyamorous. Currently she is involved with a woman, but in the past, she was married to a man and had female partners. I have known people involved in non-monogamous relationships before and I know that although they can be a lot of work, for some people it is the only kind of relationship that satisfies them.

Right after we had our discussion, the polygamist sect in Texas was all over the news. It got me to thinking that a lot of people probably don't realize that there is a difference between polyamory and polygamy.

What is the difference between polyamory and polygamy? Is one more egalitarian than the other? Is one male dominated and the other less dependent on gender roles?

Learn the Basics

• What is polyamory?
• What is the difference between polyamory and polygamy?

_{Photo by © Rodolfo Clix}

If you read the movie reviews on Lesbian Life, then you know that it's rare that a movie earns a five-star rating from our movie reviewer. Well, the new lesbian movie Spider Lilies is a an exception. Our movie reviewer loved Spider Lilies for it's sensuality, beauty, story and lyricism. Spider Lilies is a new award-winning film in Mandarin with English subtitles by director Zero Chou. Find out why it won Best Feature Film at the Berlin International Film Festival and other awards. Here's our review of Spider Lilies.
_{© Wolfe Video}

My girlfriend and I have been dating almost eight months and we both love each other dearly. She has chosen to co-parent two children with an ex, before she and I started dating, which I have no problem with. My problem is that the mother was evicted from her home and my girlfriend has allowed her and the kids to move into her spare bedroom.

This Is Coming Between Us

This woman has become the source of so many arguments because my girlfriend feels the need to be in her words "big sister" to her. This woman doesn’t work and from what I see has no desire to work and eventually take care of her kids, and I don’t know how to make my girlfriend see that this woman is just using her. When she doesn’t get her way she threatens to leave and take the kids. She does it because she knows my girlfriend's weakness is her love for the kids. I am at my wits end. Please help!

If you live in the Island of Lesbos in Greece, you're known as a Lesbian. If you're a woman who loves other women, you're known as a lesbian. Does one group have more of a right to the word than the other? A group of Greek citizens think so. They are suing a gay and lesbian group, trying to prevent them from using the word "lesbian" in the organization's title. Those suing say, the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece, "insults the identity" of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians. Learn more about the controversy and add your thoughts below.

More:

• Origin of the word "lesbian."
• Who was Sappho of Lesbos?

_{© Konstantinos Dafalias}